Trust me on this one. How you decide to feel about yourself can really make an impact on your everyday choices. For example, if you're feeling worthless, you might not go after that job application because you think you're not skilled enough, or you'll stay in a horrible relationship because you don't think you can do any better.
While it's completely normal to feel this way every once in a while, you don't want your negative thoughts to be taking control of your life and driving you in a direction that will prevent you from growing and learning.
According to INC. By taking certain steps, you can alter your mood to be more positive so you can feel better about yourself. But if you still need some scientific proof as to how you can turn your mood from a zero to a 10, here are some proven ways to feel better now. Spending time outside the four walls of your apartment can be an instant mood lifter. According to Business Insider, a study found that people who spent time in the forest had lower levels of cortisol and decreased heart rates — especially those compared to people who lives in metropolitan cities.
If you don't have the time to go outside during office hours, add some greenery to your desk for some plant therapy. Sometimes you feel better when we don't have the focus on you, but rather help someone else out who really needs it. It also improves their health and even their longevity.
Being particular about what you eat can increase your mood and make you feel better about yourself. And, oppositely, foods that are high in fat, sodium, or sugar can make your mood crash. Plus, if you're eating healthier, you may find you feel better mentally too, which will allow you to handle everyday stresses with ease. I personally need to love what I do for a living. Without this, my life would feel meaningless to me.
But everyone is different. What was missing? You figured out your needs already, right? If your needs are being met, this step is easy. Discover how to be your authentic self.
Explore why self-compassion trumps self-esteem. Follow these steps to hush your inner critic. This step was really hard for me. I discovered that some of my core needs were not being met. I drew some scary lines in the sand and clarified for myself exactly what my deal breakers were—deal breakers for my friendships, my marriage, and my work life. At the same time, I discovered that I had been pushing to get my wants met, even though they were not so important.
I prioritized, focused, and communicated my needs with brutal honesty, and I let everything else go. I now have more positive views of myself because I pushed for what matters to me. It was terrifying to put myself first, but it was worth it. Now that you understand your needs and have a plan for getting them met, you are on your way to feeling that sense of self-assuredness that comes from having control over your own life.
But what about those past mistakes? Almost everyone has said something hurtful, forgotten an important event, or betrayed someone they love. We have to remember that our mistakes do not define us. If you notice a pattern of behavior, such as refusing to go into certain social situations because of anxiety and negativity, you should start trying to move past these behaviors.
Once you change the thought processes around these events, you can push yourself to enter into them without the worry that there will be negative consequences. For example, you often say no to going out with coworkers because you think they will find you boring and you will just make a fool of yourself.
Instead of thinking this way, think about the positive things about yourself and what might come out of it. You have other friends who like you and enjoy your company, so you are interesting. You may also make some new friends and become closer to those at work. If you think of the possibilities of a situation instead of the horrible things that might happen, you might be able to think about yourself in a positive light as well. This type of thinking can take time to change.
It may seem difficult at first, but if you keep acknowledging your feelings and recognizing your negative behavior, you can make small moves to change it. After a while, you will find yourself doing it more and more to the point where you have more positive thoughts in your day than negative.
If you find yourself having a hard time with this process, you may need to see a therapist. CBT is aided by having a trained professional who knows the methods and might be able to see things about yourself that you may not. In CBT sessions, the therapist works in partnership with you as you work towards your goals. Part 3. Do what you consider right. Sometimes people have low self-esteem because they do an action that they themselves consider wrong or unhealthy. Tell your family and friends about your accomplishments.
When you accomplish something you're really proud of, that's when you're at your most beautiful. Acknowledge your hard work, congratulate yourself, and ask others to join your celebration. This will make you routinely feel better about who you are, because you'll have other people cheering you on.
Call a grandparent or e-mail a favorite aunt to share the news so you can celebrate with family and friends. Know that this is great for you and them. If you're just talking to your family or friends, it's sharing with those you love. And chances are that if you want to feel good about yourself, then you're have a lot to tell others about your accomplishments.
Accept compliments genuinely. When your friend says,"I liked your presentation," try to avoid brushing her off with "I was so nervous, I forgot a whole slide!. If you're self-deprecating or put yourself down any time people try to make you feel good, then they may avoid doing it in the future.
Instead, the next time you hear something nice about yourself, look and feel legitimately happy to hear it instead of fighting it. Look the person in the eye and thank her like you really mean it. If the compliment makes you uncomfortable, you do not have to accept it. However, if you like the compliment, accept it. Celebrate taking care of yourself.
For some people, putting in real time and care into their hygiene will make them feel that they are worth taking care of. Taking care of your body is just as important as taking care of your mind, and many extreme forms of hygiene are also relaxing.
Examples include taking a long bath or pampering your skin with great-smelling soap or lotion. This is different from throwing on a lot of makeup or buying trendy outfits.
This means seeing that your body should be given time and care. Wear comfortable clothes. You know which shirt makes you feel self-conscious and which pants make you squirm. If you have these clothes, it's time to donate those to charity. Wear your favorite color. If you feel great in it, your confidence will show. If someone teases you about the clothes you wear, shrug it off and say, "Oh well, at least I like them! Avoid wearing clothes that make you feel uncomfortable just because you think they are stylish.
Do what makes you feel good and everyone will see that you're much more comfortable in your skin that way. In some situations, it will actually be more comfortable for you if you dress according to the venue. Develop your own style.
Experiment with clothing to see what makes you feel the best. Some days you might feel fancy and other days you might feel more comfortable. This is normal. Try to visit a clothing store with a friend and try on a few new outfits in colors and styles.
You most likely will find something that actually looks good on you. Focusing on your appearance is not unhealthy when your appearance is a fulfilling expression of who you are. For example, wearing your favorite color expresses a preference. Always laugh at the ones that might be less than ideal. The clothes just may be more suited for others. Changing your style can help you discover a side of yourself you never knew you had.
Also try a new hairdo. Those with long hair can braid it, twist it, or wear it in a bun. Experiment to find the best way you can express yourself through your appearance and remember, there are many right options. They're all you if you like it. Be friends with people who make you feel good about yourself. If you are out with friends and they start talking about things that make you uncomfortable, change the subject.
If you always find yourself in company that obsesses over appearance, try to change the conversation to less superficial matters. If this happens often, then you may have to find some friends with stronger values. Ask yourself if your friends are mostly complimenting you and supporting you, or nit-picking everything you do.
If they are negative about you, then you need to drop them as soon as you can. This may sound harsh, but this can lead you to feel better about yourself. Show them that there are more interesting things to talk about, such as how their soccer team is doing and how old their little golden retriever pup is this month. Learn something new. Read an article about something going on in the world. You will feel like you are knowledgeable about some current events, and will also help you get out of your routine and feel like you're branching out.
Take a pottery class or watch a documentary. Do something that inspires you to learn and appreciate the world. Soon, you'll feel empowered because of your willingness to change and all of the knowledge you've gained. If you've learned something really interesting, share it with others.
That will make you feel like you have even more to offer to the world. Exercising will make you feel better both physically and mentally.
Though losing weight or getting in shape may be a byproduct, exercise itself is the important part and will make you feel like you are paying more attention to your body and developing a healthy routine. Plus, the rush of endorphins that make you happier will help. Exercise for at least 30 minutes a day and learn to love whatever it is you'll do.
You'll feel good about yourself just by making this simple change in your schedule. Get a workout buddy or two to make the process more fun and encouraging.
You'll feel even better if you have a friend cheering you on when you want to quit. Cheap forms of exercise include running in your neighborhood or park; doing aerobics or weight-free exercises; burpees.
Part 4. Volunteering is a good way to feel good about yourself and a great way to give back to the community and to see that you have so much to offer to the world. Make a habit of doing it at least a few times a month. Once you start volunteering, you'll see that there are plenty of people who think you are worthwhile, and that you shouldn't have spent so much time being down on yourself. You can get involved by teaching adults or children to read, cleaning up a local park, volunteer at a local library or bookstore, or volunteer at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter.
Depending on your skill set, there might be specific forms of volunteering available to you. For example, lawyers often can take pro bono cases, or house architects can help build housing for free.
Continue to keep a journal. Continuing to keep a journal after you've done CBT, or if you have yet to try CBT, because it can help you go down your path to feeling good about yourself. You should write in it at least once or twice a week and chart your progress, noting the things you do to make yourself feel better as well as those that make you feel worse.
It can help start a path to happiness but there will always be some obstacles or days when you feel less than ideal. It's important to be honest and to always ask yourself what can make you feel better. Remember that you're on a journey and that it will take some time. Be patient and kind to yourself. Know it takes times to work. Take the time to read over your journal at least once a month. This will help you see how much you have grown. Cheer yourself up when you need it.
If you are feeling sad, accept that it is normal and sometimes even good to feel sad. Experiment with what will make you happy, or ask friends for help. Most people have a go-to activity that makes them feel better. Examples include fishing, shopping, going on hikes, working on a house project, meditating, bowling, seeing friends, exercising, and writing.
If it's daytime, open up the window and let in some fresh air and sunlight. If it's nighttime, put on some clean pajamas and curl up with a favorite book, movie, or CD. Take a warm bath or shower if you are feeling stressed. Imagine the water washing away your worries. Also try to create your own peace rituals. When you're angry or stressed out, take three long, slow, deep breaths. Turn on some of your favorite music.
Find ways to calm your spirit, and return to those practices whenever you feel anxious. Know it's okay to be upset. The sooner you can address the problem, the sooner you'll feel better. Start a dream list. Find a notebook and write down places you'd like to visit, experiences you'd like to have, people you'd like to meet, and skills you'd like to learn. A dream list is a great start to creating a life filled with fun, adventure, and interesting experiences.
Put a box next to each item on your list so you can check it off when it happens. Having an exciting plan for the future, and making it a priority to actually accomplish it, can help you feel good about yourself because you'll feel like you have a lot to look forward to. Make sure the adventures on your list are actually attainable, no matter how outlandish they are.
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